the 2 evils

We have 2 soda machines on this floor. One Coke and one Pepsi. Now I mostly drink water, but I do occasionally feel like drinking a Mt. Dew when I eat lunch. The problem is that the Pepsi machine breaks down frequently and Coke sucks. Seriously.. half the time I go to the Pepsi machine, it isn't accepting money. It is also the only machine that has ever taken money and not given me the soda. This machine is the devil. I had to settle for Coke tonight cause I forgot about the older Pepsi machine up on the 7th floor. The devil inside the machine down here made me forget.

The other night I was at the store and I saw a Wii. I stared at it for a moment, and it spoke to me.

Wii: Hello
Me: Hey
Wii: How are you?
Me: uhmm.. am I going crazy?
Wii: Yes
Me: Ok
Wii: You should ask the clerk to open the case so you can take me home.
Me: Now why would I do that?
Wii: Because you play games, and your current console generation collection would be complete.
Me: eh.. I can't afford you right now.
Wii: Yes you can.
Me: Damn. Well, I don't know if I want you.
Wii: Oh but you do.
Me: And why is that?
Wii: I have waggle.
Me: Your waggle does not impress me.
Wii: I have The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess.
Me: I can get that for my Cube.
Wii: I have Wii Sports.
Me: zzzzzzzzzzzz
Wii: I have Virtual Console.
Me: Fuck you.
Wii: Oh I think I found a weakness.
Me: Fuck you twice.
Wii: You can buy many classic games that you and Conner will enjoy.
Me: Fuck your mother.
Wii: Super METROID.
Me: HAHA I have had that for years.
Wii: For your SNES somewhere at your mothers house.
Me: DIE.

I then walked away while several people looked at me funny and the clerk was calling security about some nutjob talking to their display case. I was strong this time....... evil bastard.