Waste

Yeah, I wasted my teenage years.

When people my age were out partying, hanging out with friends, or whatever it is they did during those teenage years, I was sitting on my ass playing SNES games. That was my Friday night life.

Shyness is a fucking illness. Some girls have said in the past "oh it's so cute", but they are either just being polite or do not know what it is truly like. I have avoided talking to people for so long that when I do actually need to talk to someone, I end up fumbling my words or my voice cracks. It sucks, sitting there playing SNES games, knowing I wanted something more with my life and not having the ability to do it.

In the rare event that a girl would actually have something to say to me, I would fall flat on my ass because I had no idea how to respond. They always told me to try and make them laugh. How the fuck do I do that?

It would have been nice to be able to walk into a new class and know that I could count on seeing a few friends in there. That didn't happen very often. Hell, it would have been nice having friends that I could count on more than one hand.

Who knows. Maybe I could have actually done better in school and gone to college like I wanted. Maybe I could have had some directline in life, which would be better for me and my family.

In the end, things have turned out good. I have a wife and an awesome 7 month old son. I hope that smile never leaves his face. I want the happiness to stay with him, and not leave at a young age like it did with me. I want him to have a better and easier time than I did.

As for my turn? Maybe in my next life....

This post was inspired by a message board thread I read earlier. I am normally not this angry with the world.