Monday,

I hate Monday.

Hate it with a passion.

My wife calls it the root of all evil.

I tend to agree.

Monday is when everyone that went down over the weekend calls in. It is the day that everyone LOVES to call in sick. I don't like calling in sick anymore, since I need the money, and plus, whenever you call in sick on a Monday, everyone knows that you are just being lazy.

I think the funniest sick call I ever saw was back at a former employer. It was a Sunday morning, and the mentor was checking the sick line. He was a friend of mine, so he let me listen. This guy named Brian, who we all called Spamboy, called in. He called in A LOT, especially on Sunday, which was his only weekend workday. The message sounded like this:

"Hi.. this is.. Brian.. I am not going to be in today... because I am having flu-like symptoms... argghghghggarglegarglearrghghghggh... I am going to go to the doc...tor.. and will hopefully be in tomorrow...... *click*"

Now, let us analyze what was wrong here. First, his history. He called in sick A LOT. He was a dumb 16 year old who just happened to be the managers' daughters best friends brother, so he looked after him and let him get away with calling in sick, being very late, etc. Next, the term flu-like symptoms. I wonder which bottle of medicine he got that off of. Next, the gargling noise he let us hear. Clever. Especially after his brilliant move with the phrase "flu-like symptoms". We can't ignore the fact that he said he was going to go to the doctor, on a Sunday. And the best part was him telling us he would try to be back on Monday. Why? Cause he was!

He was back the next day, and he looked fine, well, for him anyway. He got away with it too. The manager would not fire him, until next Sunday, when he called in sick again, and said he was too tired because he had a family reunion the night before. The manager was forced by the Nazi HR Department, and we all heard he had to call the kids father first, and was extremely upset. Fucking bastard.

He was not my favorite manager, and the only way you could get anywhere with him was if you kissed his ass, which I never did.

I haven't worked for that company in over 2 years, and I still have nightmares. Out-sourced tech support is hell. HELL!

I guess I should get back to work......